I think i’ve gone deaf. After spending 45 minutes of a Tube journey – all the way from Covent Garden to Heathrow – listening to slurps, squelches, and flubbers in your left ear, wouldn’t you too? And the source of these wonderful sounds? A young couple (Daniel was the guys name, I looked at the tag on his oversized luggage), and his young, needy, and clearly very horny girlfriend. As I sat right beside them for most of my journey to the airport I was treated, or punished if you’d like to look at it in a realistic way, to what amounted to a ravenous display of soft-core, David Attenborough style porn. Well, me and around 50 other passengers, all of whom had the same look of disgust in their faces, all trying to concentrate on their Danielle Steel novels instead of the real-life version going on within eye and earshot. Oh, all of this happened at around 9am on a Tuesday morning. To hell with a glass of Tropicana and a bit of muesli, these two get their day kick started with a full on public romp.
Can you imagine what this couple are like at a different time of the day? Or on a different day altogether? What happens when they go on a night out and get a little tipsy on their favourite drink (note, it’s probably a ‘their’ in real terms too – i’m putting on firm bet on them mirroring each other, right down to their choice of alco-beverage). No doubt their network of close friends is getting smaller and smaller as each day goes by, all becoming increasingly fed up of having their drinks spilled all over them after yet another cocktail bar coffee table romp gone wrong.
If I was single and hung out with these two, it wouldn’t be long before I’d consider hanging myself just to get away from them.
But why do some people act like this when they’re in public? Thankfully i’m not single myself (I’d be even more annoyed now if I was), but I don’t think i’ve ever been that touchy-feely with my new found loves, even when I was much younger. I totally understand what it’s like to be in love – and especially in love for the first time – but do couples have to broadcast their fresh faced happiness in such a loud manner? Have they not seen that clip of Tom Cruise bouncing up and down on Oprah Winfrey‘s couch? Do they not know how silly it makes them look?
So, at the expense of asking way too many questions in way to short a timeframe, how do you feel about PDA‘s? Are you a public couple molester, or a do you try to keep your passion confined to the bedroom, where you can really enjoy it?